So Life Goes...

I'm relatively positive that I am not alone in wanting to shoot a computer, throw it out a ten story building, run over it with a car, or all of the above.  I've often thought of taking annoying computers and putting a "Free to Good Home" sign on them, but there is far too much sensitive data floating around in the world to risk it.  However, late last night, I was more than happy to have let someone have my old woolly mammoth.  

(My ancient laptop, which has been with me since I graduated high school, was so obsolete that no one else would touch it.  I adopted it fully, called it a dinosaur, and used it to write stories - with Microsoft Word 2001 - and watch movies.  Then, sadly, it's charger died and I was left without my dinosaur.  Enter the woolly mammoth, again, a device no one wanted, but my needs are relatively minor when it comes to computers.  I need Microsoft Office, and that's about it.  The ability to listen to music is a bonus, but I am not so picky as to need the internet.)

Jackie (my good friend and constant motivator for all things book related) and I had decided that my first book about vampires HAD to be ready for release on Halloween.  Somehow, around a full time job, a part time job teaching therapeutic horseback riding and an even more part time job just teaching horseback lessons, owning an entire herd myself and trying to cram for NaNoWriMo, I had to push to get in an entire book worth of edits by October 29th.  I'd paced myself early in the day, managed five chapters before work, and was well over half way through my latest book when the woolly mammoth decided to fail me.  It not only failed to save changes, it lost the file completely.  An entire book was lost to the unknown void that is my old computer.  I won't lie, I was in tears.  I wanted to break something, tear out wires, and baseball bats were sounding appealing.  But, for once, I didn't want to give up.  I had set a deadline, and I was going to make that deadline.

Fast forward four hours and three computers later, and I had done what I needed to do.  At one in the morning, slightly woozy from a lack of sleep and the remnants of the 48 hour flu, I could safely say I'd accomplished what I set out to do.  I went to sleep, resting on my laurels.

At eight this morning, I received word that the formatting was approved, and I was in the clear.  All I had left to do was proof the bare necessities before clicking that fateful button that would allow me to share my hard work with the world.  I suppose I should be happy that I thought to check one last time, for there, right smack dab on the cover, was a change I had missed.  Bear in mind, I was noticing this after I got home from work, through a sleep deprivation induced headache.  Now, I'm left wondering if I'm too late.  If all that crazy scrambling with one lone goal was for naught.  And the worst part is, I now have five hours to think about it.  To think, wonder, hope and fear.  

I suppose the moral of this story might be to get a new computer.  It's a nice moral, but not what I had in mind.  Someday, as Jackie pointed out, I will look back and laugh at what I have to deal with, but for now, it is what it is.  I choose, instead, to see this as a lesson in perseverance.  If I had given up the first time a computer crashed on me, I would never have finished my senior research paper.  I would never have finished my first published novel, The Other Side of the Looking Glass, and I'd be left with an unfinished book and absolutely no chance of a Halloween release for First Bite.  I guess, then, I've given it everything I have.  For now, I'll just continue to wait.  And maybe, just maybe, I'll find a little bit of luck at the end of it all.

For what it's worth, I can hope that by knowing of my difficulties, others might find some solace in similarity.  With NaNoWriMo quite literally only a day and a half away, perseverance is one of the greatest qualities anyone can have.

Keep rambling on...

L.E. Gibler


P.S. A link to First Bite will appear if the writing world is kind tonight..