With the advent of fall, the creative juices for most of us NaNoWriMos start to flow a little more freely. We're all aware of that fateful day in November when we will see what we're made of - if we can truly manage 50,000 words in a single month of madness. Since I first started participating, I have loved every moment of the struggle, and the reward of simply winning.
With this in mind, I dove head first this year into a greater level of responsibility by applying to be my local municipal liaison (which I have yet to spell successfully on a first attempt). It is an opportunity I am so excited to partake in that I get a little bubbly just thinking about it. This year will mark the fourth and final book in a series (though I have already decided on add ons for coming years about other characters and the "what if" years after high school). It will be a year of truly wonderful beginnings and less than wonderful endings.
However, this will also be a bittersweet year. The inspiration behind my character who is set to star in November just passed away unexpectedly. Wendy was truly the most remarkable, loving, caring, unselfish being on the face of the planet, and I cherished my friendship with her. She was everything that people should aspire to be. She was my friend when I was still a neurotic girl, barely more than a teenager, and she remained my friend for over a decade. She helped push me into publishing, she always encouraged me to write, and she read everything I ever sent her. The greatest tragedy is not that I never told her what she meant to me - I did but I could have done more - no, the greatest tragedy is that stories she had wanted to know the end to will never be read by her. She will never know how Nora and Ivan survive their teenage years, she will never know how Scarlett finds out about her father. Most importantly, though, she will never know all that Mary Usher has to offer. Mary Usher was based on Wendy, and the hidden strengths of such a sweet, loving woman were set to come out in this young girl.
There is no question in my mind that Pandora will be dedicated to my wonderful friend. I just wish that there had been time to tell her what would happen, how it would end, so that she would never have had to wonder while I struggled with the time to put to paper all the complexities mirrored in her fascinating soul.
For those who believe that the dead watch over us, I hope you're correct. I hope that for a few, brief moments, Wendy might be able to see that without her in my life, I could never have even had the ability to even try and live this dream.
Emotions are the fuel that fans a writer's flames. We live and breathe love, hate, and everything in between. But sorrow and tragedy are harder still to articulate, especially when we are still mired in the midst of them. I can only hope that in six week's time, when the world of writers comes together to frantically put together their stories, that I can do justice to my friend, and tell mine.
-L.E.
